Don't get your undies in a bundle

We are often confronted with pressures to practice social norms. Some are meant with the best intentions to help us develop life skills and make connections with others. Yet some of those practices test the boundaries of our natural abilities or individual comforts. Finding the balance of the potential benefits and possible hindrances are the key to not only embrace who we are but also to accept who we can become.

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Everyone wears underwear, right? Aren't we supposed to, like it's just the right thing to do? The mere idea of "going commando" is taboo. Only the unclean and promiscuous don't wear underwear. Right?

I don't wear underwear. I don’t. I hate underwear. It makes me feel restricted in my movements and confined like I'm in a thigh rubbing, butt pinching unbreathable cocoon. I just plain ol' don't like underwear.  I regularly practice the art of commando and have been doing so for years. No, I don't go around parading in concept or action this fact, but those who know me know this fact to be true. Before you ask, of course, I own underwear. I actually find underwear pretty, just NOT functional or comfortable. Granted,  some clothing requires the use of underwear whether for aesthetic, hygiene or specific functional purposes, so yes, on the rare occasion I will wear them. For those days that I MUST, I will, but more often than not at some point in the day, they will be removed.  I have also mastered the art of discreetly, neatly stashing said underwear in my purse or gym bag once they have been removed. Because of course, who else needs to know what's in my bag? 

Leaving work one day as I hurried to the exit door and fumbled for my keys, iPhone in one hand, purse strap in the other.. BOOM! My purse hits the ground. At that very instance, I see a man approach to help me pick up the strewn contents of my purse. No big deal right? Why would it be? Since when is it bad to find a man practicing chivalry to help a modern day damsel in distress?

Wallet-check.

Eyeglass case-check.

Oh, there my lip balm-check.

Phone charger (because what would I do without that) -check.

Balled up a wad of something that looks like fabric-CRAP!

Like a scene from the finish line of a  100-meter dash race, I grabbed the wad just milliseconds before the man could. Just like that, crisis averted and although I had that "I'm Caught!"  nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach, the "my work here is done" gaze from man proved that he was none the wiser about almost having my skivvies in his hands! Thank God for small miracles.

The idea of our "intimates" staying intimate is the expected. We know that underwear exist and the social norm is that we have to wear them, but generally we don't talk about that fact. Some of us are the exception; happy to parade around in them, some people are even obligated to show them. It's funny how it is considered acceptable for underwear models and entertainers to prance around in their underwear. If the average everyday Joe or Janice do it, acceptance by the masses wains.  

 We apply this thought process to our own lives, making our shortcoming and idiosyncrasy the norm; tucking them away so that others don't see. What's counter-intuitive is that if we choose to be the exception and parade our talents and strengths, we run the risk of losing humility, becoming boastful.  Choosing to show both should be the norm. Making the choice between our areas of development and gifts forfeits our right to finding the necessary balance that is required for us to live our lives with the necessary ebbs and flows that make us uniquely who we are.  

In the case of my clumsy panty debacle, I found a way to be comfortable with acknowledging the social norm of wearing underwear as being acceptable for those who chose to conform, but honoring my desire and ability not to have to. I am comfortable with these truths. For some reason, however, the prospect of the chivalrous gentleman seeing my intimates was unsettling. It wasn't until I walked away;  I gave my initial reaction a chuckle and a second thought. What would have been so wrong about him seeing my intimates, especially if I have accepted not wearing them makes me comfortable? Sure, it would have been an awkward moment where I would have had to make a choice to simply thank him for his assistance or explain away the fact that he just saw my unmentionables. But isn't life full of awkward moments and opportunities to practice making decisions on what we want to share or who we want to be? No one is perfect. Who we are and what we do doesn't always fit into a nice acceptable social norm box, but it does make up the fabric of who we are.

No, I'm not saying that we should make it a habit of prancing around telling everyone, everything about ourselves. What I am saying is that it is ok to know how to balance sharing your "intimates" and displaying your talents. Keeping your mind open to finding this balance opens you up for experiences that will teach you acceptance of yourselves and others. The goal should be to find a way to balance accepting and respecting social norms for what they are and honoring who we are and what we are capable of. Guess what? There is nothing taboo about that.