From the minute we wake up to the moment you go to bed, every living being on this planet is in a state of constant communication. Sighs, shrugs, telling joke, crying, laughing
I had an interaction with someone recently that made me pay closer attention to my method of delivery when communicating my thoughts. This person, I would consider a friend and have known them for a couple of years. We like the same music, share similar views on both political and social issues and genuinely get along. The only real issue we have is our communication. Throughout that time, it has remained evident that our methods of communication verbally, the majority of the time are disjointed at best. It’s kind of a hit or miss thing, but in my book enough to be problematic.
I’m know for my wordiness (imagine that.) My abilities as a feeler make me more detailed in my storytelling and explanations because I’m always taking so many things in. Smells, temperature, basically energy of all types create heavily detailed pictures and imprint on me. In some instances explaining my thoughts and feelings are less translatable with just words so detail builds somewhat of a back story. Some people just don’t want to hear that. They want the quick and dirty explanation and are more comfortable with an edited version. I’ve been told by some people that it’s easier for them to go back and ask questions for clarification instead of getting details on the front end. To me, it’s easier to give you the whole picture so you can make an informed decision without further input from me unless necessary. Is either way of thinking wrong or ineffective? Not at all.
In the case of the interaction with me and my friend, I decided to forego my wordiness for a more direct approach. I calmly offered an opportunity for questions after my explanation and feedback at which time the person declined. Since this is not my normal method of communication the person was taken a back. Later in the evening I got a response that was aligned with the person’s typical communication method, I responded and again, I got a quick and dirty response. I believe that both of us walked away from the situation with unanswered questions and a bit of confusion.
What did I learn from this situation? I learned that no matter how likeminded two people can be, that creating and maintaining communication is integral in being able to accept a person for who they are. Constant misunderstandings and open-ended, unclear conversations can create angst and trepidation in future dealings with the other person. This can make it difficult to ever find true understanding of each other because the struggle of being heard and appreciated will forever be present. Humans are highly adaptable and can always learn new and better ways to deal with situations but that will only happen if a person is able and willing to do so. Regardless of this fact, it is up to you to decide if the constant struggle is something that you are willing to deal with. In this case for me, I decided that this is not something I’m not willing to deal with. I am willing to make certain concession with my communication up to the point of suppressing how I am truly able to communicate. It is important to honor another person point of view and be respectful of all facets of their being. Shutting yourself off from this concept shuts you off to learning something new that may be helpful to you not only in the present but future dealings with everyone.
We all deserve to be able to be who we are. It doesn’t matter if you are a confident, well-rounded individual or if you someone that has need for personal growth and development, honoring yourself in the truest essence should always take priority over pleasing someone else. At this point it remains to be seen if the two of us will communicate in the future. What I do see and am sure of is that I find comfort in speaking respectfully and freely and maybe just maybe they will take away a learning lesson themselves.